Benefactor — Finance is the Bunk, by Alfred Lawson — Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 - Next

    You don’t know that God put you here to give your efforts to do His work; to do your duty here on earth, not try to get something for nothing.
    But you try to play the swindler’s game.
    And so you say,
I’ve got a hundred dollars.
    Then your friend, the tout, says,
Why don’t you let the financier use it. Says he, The financier will make that hundred dol­lars give you six dollars at the end of the year. You ask, What for?
   
For nothing, says the tout. You get that for nothing, the six dollars. So he says, Come with me. And you go to the bunk with him. You step inside the door.
    Now when that right foot of yours gets into that bunk you’ve got one foot in the grave. And before you come out again you’ve got both feet in the grave. Your lower extremities are reeking with bunk. What those financiers do to you when you have money or property is a crime for any­body to talk about.
    So the tout takes you in and says,
Put your money in there. You ask a fellow inside of a cage, Can I make six dollars a year if I let you have my hundred dollars? He says, Sure you can, it’s the easiest thing in the world. So you give the fellow your money and you start to walk out, saying, That is a good game.
    Then the tout says,
Wait a minute. I’ll tell you how to make nine thousand dollars. So he takes you over to another fellow and he says, That man will sell you some stock, that will make you rich. He will sell the stock at a hundred dollars a share; and it will increase to a thousand dollars a share; and you can make nine hundred dollars a share by investing in it. Then he tells you how everybody that don’t want to work makes money that way.
   
But, you say to him, I just put all the money I had in the bunk.
   
Well, he says, Haven’t you got some property? Yes, got a home—real estate.
    How much is it worth? Well, it’s worth five thousand dollars.

    Any mortgage on it? No.
   
They will lend you a thousand dollars on that house of yours. Then he takes you to another fellow and he says, This gentleman wants to mortgage his home for a thousand dollars.
    So that fellow loans you the thousand dollars and takes the mortgage on your home.
Well, you say, this is the best game I ever heard of. Why, you say, I didn’t have any money, and this fellow’s lending me a thou­sand dollars so I can go over to that fellow, buy a thousand dollars’ worth of stock, and make nine thousand dollars on it.
    Then you begin to feel smart. And when you feel smart while you are dealing with financiers, you tickle them almost to death.
    So you borrow the thousand dollars and buy the stock. It is worth about two dollars a share, but you pay a hundred dollars a share for it. Then you go home and tell wifey what a smart fellow you are, how you put a hundred dollars in the bunk, for which you will get six dollars for nothing, and bought some stock for a hundred dollars a share, which will earn nine hundred dollars a share for you.
    Wifey thinks you’re a pretty smart fellow. but asks where did you get the money to buy the stock. Then you tell her that you just let them take the home for a little while, for the loan of a thousand dollars until you make a lot of money on the stock.
I can be a rich man so quick you won’t know what struck me, says you.
    Well, wifey, is a little bit dubious, but she don’t want to argue with the old man; she says,
I’ll believe it when you show me the nine hundred dollars profit on each share that you bought.
    So at the end of the year, you go into the old financier’s spider web, and you say,
I left a hundred dollars here. You promised me six dollars in interest. Do I get it?
    Sure, you do. Then he gives you the six dollars and you swell up to think what a smart fellow you are.

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